Monday, July 5, 2010

3/1001


Nostalgia.
Noun. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.
Okay, yeah, I suppose that's true. This morning I looked at my old Books if Shadows, which are really more like old diaries with some spells and rituals thrown in there. I also looked at my old diaries and journals from when I was in elementary/middle school. And, of course, I remembered all the great times, like I usually do. It's that way with most experiences like school. You hate it while you're experiencing it, but later, when all is said and done, all you can remember is the happy stuff. And wow, was I remembering. I still am.
It's amazing to think about how much I've grown and changed just in the past 3 years I've been in high school. I now find myself reminiscing old friendships, old relationships, old experiences, old ways of being---even, somehow, the naivete and the ignorance of my past seems more desirable than how involved I am now. There are times, now, when I just want to stick my head in the sand and pretend it's all not happening: my personal problems, politics, the environment, the Gulf disaster...I want to turn my back on it, pretend it's not there, and go on being happy. But, those problems keepa knock-knock-knockin' at the door, and one has to answer sometime, because those knocks tend to get more annoying than the problem itself. Kind of. Depends on the problem.
But anyway, the past is gone and done, and now all I can do is reminisce, but keep moving forward. Try to live happily in the present, while still doing what I can to make a better future, as hard as that looks to be.

No comments:

Post a Comment